DK5DR' job application letter

Walters & Stanstons

Makers of good CB stuff

Narrow Boat Lane

Dunstable

Dear sir,

I recently saw an advertisement in Cabbage Growers monthly magazine saying that you have an open position in your technical department.  From what i saw you are specifically looking for a production line technician for the assembly of your G5RV antenna system,

Due to a rather unlucky run of bad luck i have recently and unfortunately been unable to hold down a job for any length of time.  Actually i will be completely honest with you this was due to a few rather seedy fetish issues i have.  With this all behind me i consider myself ripe and ready to join your company, assembling G5RV's into my old age.

My technical background in radio communications and cabbage growing will i am sure prove to be a great asset to your establishment.   I feel at this point its important to say that i have already the experience you are looking for.  You see over the past years i have been a keen CB'er and spent many hours prowling the airwaves for little English boys who have been using the G5RV antenna.  Having located them using PBOTA ( push bikes on the air) mobile CB bike and my highly technical aluminium foil direction finding hat designed by my good buddy (Helemt McMidget) i then stole approximately 50 G5RV's for use i my garden.  I have been trying to use an old Japanese yawning method to make my cabbages grow tall.  Tall cabbage need support and G5RV's appealed to me to be the perfect "Wire" to support them as i yawned at them from afar in my garden shed.

As you can see i am no longer just a German thong wearing hunk but rather a sauna going Peter Piper with a knack for stringing a piece of wire together.

I therefore respectfully ask that you seriously consider my application for employment with your esteemed company.

Yours

Wire Ontrupeloffski

By the way Mr. Stanton and Mr. Waters, i am looking to purchase a new Optimod, my cleaner almost caught me wearing her undercrackers just the other day and i didn't have anywhere to hide them before she came into my shed, with no other option i had to rip them off, stuff them into  the Optimod and look as if everything was fine and dandy.  This caused a small fire in all the electronic gubbins.  Now the only person who thinks i sound good on the CB is my friend and good buddie Dave from Dunstable...

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